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Deviant for 1 Year
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United States
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Welp. Prom sign up was today. All of my friends (I really only have 3, used to be 4, but she hates me now...) went to go to sign up and their table was full... I'm an 11th wheel... It's ok, I guess. All of their friends hate me too. Why dampen the fun on 7 other people when me being in their sights makes them silently wish I'd jump off a bridge? I ended up signing up for a table of complete strangers. Hell, it'll be less hostile than 7 pissed off people. Allison still hates me (She was that #4 I was typing about. Really, she was #1 at one point... I was gonna keep her name a secret to me, but who the reads these anyway? Hell, y'know what? I know if she finds out I wrote this about her, she'd kill me, but hey, death is bound to happen sooner or later. I fell in love with her... My biggest sin, apparently. All I did was admit it to her, and she just was never the same around me. I blame myself...) She even hisses at me and threatens me with her pen. Stab stab stab! I knew it was a big mistake to try to be friends with people. Yes, there are 3 people that are friendly to me, but I'm just an odd wheel to their other friends, easily left behind when there's no room... I will admit, my one friend surprised me, she seemed upset that I was being left out, her name I'll keep secret, because I am on good terms with her, but my other "friends" treat me like a broken toy in an old sandbox. Sometimes I'll get played with, but for the most part, I'm just that guy that is ok to hang with when no one else is available. Maybe I'm just too different? Maybe I'm just plain dumb, I don't know! I haven't drawn a damn thing since January, I just don't feel like drawing, too upset. Even before January, I was very spaced out far in between the drawings. The heartache from Allison was bad enough, it lasted months. The constant pain faded, but whenever she's on my mind, it hurts again. It's like picking a scab, only you can't stop the bleeding with a paper towel or something. (Reading this over, it kinda looks like I'm depressed... I AM NOT! I AM upset, both with myself and others, but not depressed. Just trying to clarify to avoid unnecessary red flags.)
  • Mood: Neglect
  • Listening to: Cake - Sad Songs and Waltzes
  • Reading: Old mesages sent to Allison to see if I was insult
  • Watching: I need to fix the VCR again...

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Old-Marcie1234 Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2014
Hiya, Frank!
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